My own worst enemy
Posted on Feb 3rd, 2006
by 
jodi
jodi
I am afraid to start.
I am afraid of judgement. Always. It is the most paralysing thing.
This is something I have fought my whole life. I have found that I seem to be a very critical person. I grew up in a critical household. But I have realized that not everyone is as critical as I am. The problem is that I have turned this inward and tend to be extra hard on myself. Nothing I do seems to be good enough to me. I feel that everybody looks at what I do in the same way. And this is paralysing.
It inhibits creativity. It is an evil that I have to work really hard to avoid.
This year I am going to be brave. I am going to try and see myself as a good person and a good artist.
i have retyped this three times.
and I am going to create something good.
jodi
I am afraid of judgement. Always. It is the most paralysing thing.
This is something I have fought my whole life. I have found that I seem to be a very critical person. I grew up in a critical household. But I have realized that not everyone is as critical as I am. The problem is that I have turned this inward and tend to be extra hard on myself. Nothing I do seems to be good enough to me. I feel that everybody looks at what I do in the same way. And this is paralysing.
It inhibits creativity. It is an evil that I have to work really hard to avoid.
This year I am going to be brave. I am going to try and see myself as a good person and a good artist.
and I am going to create something good.
jodi
Access: Public
creating
August 2008 
well this is a great start!
looking forward to more blogs!
good luck
Jodi I love that icon :)
“I have retyped this threetimes” - I get that! I retype and retype, before long I’ve spent 15 minutes on a single paragraph or less! I’ve been contemplating blogging for years, and may never have if I never came to Zaadz! It’s part of my job, but I would have anyway, because this a community I want to be a part of , and contribute too, even if I am a bit nervous at times !
Like :franc, I thought the post was great and am looking forward to more :)
Welcome to Zaadz!
It’s great to see you facing this challenge with great fortitude! :) And, yes… you must blog… even if you re-write, re-write, and re-write… it’s all GOOD! And just an extra note…. You are MORE than Good Enough! And you have so much to share with all of us; we can learn from you… and like wise… we hope that you will learn from us as well.
As stated above; Looking forward to more!!
Be well!
That’s awesome Jodi. Knowing your value and having the courage to break out of those immense patterns can totally transform your life. For me it’s been a personal revolution. I couldn’t do anything with an attitude of fear and hesitation. It’s a constant process. I am always reminding myself what’s really important in my life, it keeps me going. Thanks for the sharing. My impression is that you are really awesome.
Thanks.
This was my first blog ever. Infact I have never chatted with strangers (people I don’t know face to face eg. e-mailing) on the internet.
New beginnings are usually the hardest thing to do, but risks are good because it opens up the opportunities for interesting experiences. We all have fear in us..what a better way than face them. I am glad you wrote a blog, I look forward to many more. Awesome blog!