The strangest thing happened while we were away. I suddenly know what I want in my life.

For so long now I have been struggling. Feeling like something is/was missing. Feeling guilty about that because I really am happy and have everything I could need. I had a feeling of frustration.
We went away for a while. Traveled by car up through the country to visit family. My friend, Lize, came along.
She had been away for 4 years in Taiwan. I missed her terribly when she was away. We had been best friends for the longest time and I really needed her in my life. Now she is back. This trip gave us such a wonderful opportunity to talk and bond. And it gave me a sense of perspective.

Being outside Stellenbosch and seeing my country, which I love so, was eye opening. All the landscapes, breath taking sunsets, amazing people, animals... My country is wild and complicated and beautiful. We went to visit family under some tough circumstances. Yet, this was the most rewarding time. Somehow it made me see that my life is heading the way I want it to go.

This is all so abstract but it feels so clear in my mind. Every person every moment was incredible. Our weekend in the Kruger Park was so wonderful. Seeing the Africa we seldom see. All these fragments have somehow given me a sense of whole. Of living. Of reality.

I am heading in the direction I know I should. I am so sure of the decisions I am making. I believe in my ability. I feel love and trust. I am still afraid but not paralyzed. I am more excited than afraid. just felt like sharing.... :)

People who overcome difficulty.
People who are able to stay positive and work toward their dreams no matter what they face. I am forever amazed by how people are able to focus on the good things and change their worlds and become who they envision themselves to be.

I feel a need for some space.
I have this amazing ability to create clutter. But I realise that freeing myself from so many things can only be a cleansing experience. And someone can benifit from what I am not using. So: today I am cleaning. Maybe it's the spring air. I don't know. But I need to clean.

So many things!
I am working on my play. I am working on my art, I am working on this site and my friendships here!
I am working on my home, I am working on my horses, I am working on my dogs, I am woking on my health.  I am working on my garden.
I am working. I feel so, so blessed to be able to have so much to love and work on with all of my heart. This is an exciting time to be alive. Most of all I am working on becoming a better me. This is my purpose.

As I told Marlemac a day ago:
'I have also set up a new studio for myself. A workspace separate from my husband's. We work from home and it is the most amazing thing. But I need space when I am creating. I just need to be able to be in another room. So, this is so great. I am working on my art again and I feel an enormous feeling of freedom. My flood gates are on the verge of bursting. ;)'

I am so excited about my horse. He is so beautiful. I am going to start training soon in Natural horsemanship. I love working with animals and this is such a challenging new world for me.

I walk with my dogs in the mountains, I go to the beach, go for a drive around the coast. Things that make me feel free. Anything to get away from my house, really. Otherwise I spend it cleaning my house. hehe.
Although (hmmmm):  I do tend to work on home projects over weekends. E.g. I love gardening or fixing things around the house. My husband and I spend quality time together doing these things.
I also love spending time with my friends. They always help me remember who I am and what is important in life.

Now, I also have the horses to spend time with! I can't wait for my next holiday!!